Sir...
It's $50
Just take it
Fada
Are you taken aback by the $50?
Just accept his generosity
But $50 is a lot of money
Come on, he's loaded
By rejecting it, you're not giving him face
Right, Mr Generous?
Don't be wishy-washy. Here you go
Thank you, sir
Fada, are you here for lunch?
You're calling me Fada again
Just call me Big Brother
Better not. You're not from the triads
I'm trying hard to look like one. No?
Fada, you're a funny one
I'm funny?
What's with the attire? Don't you have school today?
I've quit school
I couldn't even manage my studies at ITE
I paid close attention in class
But I just couldn't follow
My teacher kept asking to meet my parents
Even my mummy started dreading going to my school
You and I are in the same boat
I was just like you in the past
The principal not only wanted to meet my parents,
but he also caned my bottom in front of the whole school
Here's a secret
I still have scars on my bottom to show for it
You must have been spanked real hard
My school principal was a sadist
He should have been a prison warden
He could spank people's bottoms every day
You're only 15, too young to stop schooling
I'm only 18. I'm no longer 15
You're already 18?
Time flies
Time waits for... What again?
Time and tide wait for no man
I'm impressed!
You could even utter "time and tide wait for no man"
It's a shame that you quit school
I guess so
But I'm not bright at all
Mummy said if I stayed in school,
I'd only be wasting good money
How's that a waste of money?
Are you singing to make a living?
No. I'm trying to muster up my courage
Muster up your courage?
My sis says I'm timid
I'd get stomach cramps from anxiety...
on my first day of school
So I wouldn't be able to accomplish anything
You'd like to accomplish something?
No. I'm not capable of anything
I just want to overcome my fear
Then I won't get stage fright...
when I sing before an audience
You plan to hold a concert?
No
But if an opportunity comes along...
You want to become a singer?
Do you find me thick-skinned?
You're not the only thick-skinned person who dreams of becoming a singer
I'm one of them!
You want to become a singer?
Yes, yes. I can sing
My name is Zhou Fada
All the Zhous can sing and act
Chow Yun-fat and Jay...
Jay Chou!
That's right, Jay Chou!
The moonlight in the city lights up the night sky
Nice?
So nice that you're speechless?
I know. I get you
No
It was awful?
You were brutally honest
I feel so hurt
I'm sorry, Fada
It's OK
I'm thick-skinned enough to dream of becoming a singer
You can't be worse than me
No fear! Dare to dream!
Without a dream, we'd be like a car running on empty
We'd be an empty shell
You get it?
Where's he?
Trust me. We'll make it this time
I know. I've failed like 10 times
But... - 29 times!
What a good memory. Fine, 29 times
But so what? That's life for you
Hear me out
It's the 29th time!
OK, so it's 29 times
But so what? That's life for you
There are ups and downs, just like the stock market
We were taught this in school, too
Failure is the stepping stone to success
We learn from failures
We need 29 times of failure to...
precede a success at the 30th attempt
Let me quote this future great man
What's the greatest wealth?
It's the experience gleaned from failures!
What does it prove? Failure is not a bad thing
You're impressive!
You actually travelled in time
You could even quote a great man from the future
Oh well, I'm that great man in the making
Nuts!
Now, I won't be selling bubble tea,
arowana or pizza
It's the world-wide craze now
Cosmos beads
Come again? - Cosmos beads
Crazy man
So I have your support?
You've heard about cosmos beads too?
No, I've not
Then how come I have your support?
Thanks to senile dementia
Uncle, in 50 years’ time,
you'll have my support when I'm down with dementia
No... - Cosmos beads (zhu)?
I've only heard of people rearing pigs (zhu) on Batam
But you're even going as far as the cosmos!
What beads (zhu) again? Flying pigs (zhu)?
I wasn't talking about pigs
I meant beads!
I know. Don't take me for a fool
I was just fooling along with you
No, hear me out
My cosmos beads are in a different league
Ever heard of Rinpoche-blessed beads?
I've never heard of Rinpoche
But I've heard you threaten to cut yourself many times
But you still have your ten fingers!
You've not lost a finger
Hear me out
Rinpoche is the incarnation of Buddha
Why are fortune tellers laughing their way to the bank?
That's because they sell things...
like crystal and feng shui fountains for hundreds of grand
But my cosmos beads top them all
I'm talking to you! What are you looking for?
Someone's-in-a-big-hurry
If you won't help me, I'll die
You know what those loan sharks are like
They won't just cut off my fingers
They'd even maim me!
What's more, you stepped on their toes
Do you have a heart?
I helped you shake off the loan sharks. Are you blaming me now?
I'm not blaming you
We are uncle and nephew
So we go through thick and thin together!
Enough for me!
I even gave you all my savings...
in the piggybank that I'd kept since my kindergarten days
What more do you want?
I know you can't do it...
Speak for yourself!
You have a wider network
Yeah, so I have many friends
They flee at the sight of me now
No one will lend me any money
Well, you have a friend that will never let you down
Who?
Your good buddy, my future brother-in-law
Do you have a heart?
You'd even set your sights on...
the only good man left in Dakota Crescent,
no, the whole of Singapore?
He's a good man
Good things are meant to be shared
Each of us will fork out $8000
I promise we'll make a tenfold return in three months!
It'll snowball into a $80,000 profit!
Yeah right, it'll snowball into a $80,000 debt
You've got to believe me. About Rinpoche...
Someone's-in-a-big-hurry! Stay right there!
I'm not done talking
Why did you run off?
Watch out for the traffic
It's good stuff
Not again, Mum
You're eating so little again
I had a heavy breakfast
I'm still feeling full
That's not true
You're saving the food for us
You're saving it for Dad, Weikang and me
No. I have enough in my bowl
Sharing food brings us closer
I don't expect myself to eat like a king
I'm grateful that I even get porridge
Old people like us...
become an eyesore to others
They give their family good food
But we who outlive our welcome...
are given plain porridge every day
And I'm supposed to be thankful for it...
since I cannot chew as well as before
Porridge is easier to digest
Grandma
Do you like the...
porridge with minced meat, liver and dried scallop Mum made for you?
Mum cooked it all morning, so it's very tasty
Exactly
People don't eat pig's liver these days. It's dirt cheap now
Mum, you're now impervious to her sarcasm
She is our elder. We should bear with her
Excessive tolerance becomes indulgence
Xiong, I've had little schooling
Don't give me profound lines
How much does a new handphone cost?
From the cheap to the expensive
Why?
Weikang wants a new handphone
I'd like to buy it for him
He's changing handphones again?
Can't he use a second-hand handphone?
I'm still using my handphone...
after two years
Hello, Lazy Bum?
Teddy, go to the balcony now!
Why should I?
Just go there!
I'm at the balcony. Where are you?
Keep your eyes wide open
Do you see any man in a hat?
What are you up to this time?
I'm looking for Someone's-in-a-big-hurry
Who again?
He beat Granny Cardboard up,
and stole her money
You just love to stir up trouble
Granny Cardboard already said no one had beaten her up
Since you've got the time, buy the papers
Check the classiﬁed ads page for job openings
Papers?
Uncle, tell her what papers are
What age are we living in? The papers?
Heard that? What age are we living in now?
No one reads the papers these days
You're good at talking nonsense
I see a man wearing a hat...
walking towards Uncle Hai's provisions shop
Why are you so... late?
Guan Meiyu, waiting for a customer?
What customer?
You look like you're picking up a customer
Go to hell
This is a friendly reminder
A girl should not be seen hanging around in the public
You'll give people the wrong idea
What wrong idea? Go away!
Can't you take a joke?
Waiting for your boyfriend?
It's none of your business
If you're waiting for your boyfriend,
I'd like to find out which fool had fallen for you
Zhang Weikang, what's that supposed to mean?
Aren't you good at ripping people off?
You're standing outside a handphone shop
Hoping to receive a handphone as a gift?
You can have this for $200
I don't want a used handphone
Come on, it's a limited edition!
Limited edition?
It's been used by a great man in the making
Doesn't that make it a limited edition?
A great man in the making?
A scumbag in the making, you mean!
Don't flatter yourself
That was painful
Are you putting me down?
Nope
I'm writing you off
Go away! I'm waiting for my sis
Your sis?
I saw your sis just now
She walked away with a man
With whom? - I don't know the person
What?
You saw her walking off with a stranger
Yet you didn't stop her?
How was that my fault?
Nothing bad has happened, right?
Now that you said it, it's come back to me
When your sis left with the man,
she looked terrified
What?
Fool! Why didn't you tell me sooner?
Guan Meiyu!
No, officer...
Guan Meimei, you're under arrest now
Don't arrest me
Busking at the hawker centre is illegal
I wasn't...
I wasn't busking!
I... I was only trying to overcome my timidity
You could ask the rest if you don't believe me
It's true
I don't believe you
I wasn't... Sir, I'm not lying
I'm not
Stop making excuses!
I'm confiscating your IC,
and charging you in court
No! I don't want to go to court
My mummy will kill me
Sir...
Please... please give me a chance
I won't do it again
Not again
Where's your takings for today?
The money...
This money will be used as evidence
You've taken the money
Does it mean you'll drop charges against me?
Stallone! Not meeting new girls?
Ignoring me? I'll bring you a girlfriend next time
Aren't you looking for someone? - Yes
Guang!
Did a tall and thin man come in here?
Guang?
Guang!
Yes?
Mars has collided with Earth!
An alien has landed in Dakota!
Stop playing a fool
Uncle Hai!
Uncle Hai isn't around?
Where's your dad?
He's been hospitalized
How nice
Are you serious?
His dad has been warded!
Have some decency
Stallone is so sad that he's hardly moving
What do you know?
Uncle Hai is at the shop all year long
He doesn't take a day off
Let the hospital stay be his holiday trip
You've got a point there
Why was Uncle Hai hospitalized?
He underwent surgery to have his haemorrhoids removed
Tell Uncle Hai I wish him a speedy recovery
Let's not digress
Did a man come in here?
I think I saw a shadow
I'll go after him -Hurry
Your forehead is practically glowing! Good fortune is heading your way
There are three of us
Big Brother and I will each fork out $10,000
You just need to fork out $8000
We'll split the profits among us, OK?
I didn't agree to it initially
You're forking out only $8000,
$2000 less than each of us
Big Brother says you're his good buddy
He's being a good friend to you
So I came round to it
My nephew is such a faithful chap, so I shall back him up
OK?
OK, right? It's a deal, OK?
OK
Good! Give me your ATM card
Don't worry
I'll change the PIN after withdrawing the cash
It'll be fine
Did you say cash?
You mean you weren't listening to me?
OK, I'll say it again
There are three of us
Big Brother and I will each fork out $10,000 and you, $8000
We'll split the earnings among us, OK?
Hey, you!
Why have you been following me?
I'm going to uphold justice and rid society of a menace
So I'm talking to a nutcase
Did Big Brother OK it? - Yes
How many times must I say it? He really said OK
OK? OK
He did not say OK
Where's he?
He's left
Why didn't you stop him?
I was talking to him
Hang on. Say OK
What? - OK!
OK!
Heard that?
You said if Big Brother said OK,
you'd be OK with it
Give me your ATM card
Stallone, get up. Time to work!
Remove them
I'll just look. I won't touch you
But...
Hesitate some more and I'll bring you back to the police station
No! No...
Go on, remove them
Hurry up!
Could...
Could you...
turn around first?
OK
Don't you run away
Your IC is with me
I'll be able to hunt you down!
No... I won't
Hurry up!
There are many crooks out there
If anyone bullies you or...
threatens to take you to the police station or somewhere else,
it's a hoax
Pretend that you're going to give me a call
Open your bag,
throw this in his face,
and run
Got it?
Are you done?
Yes
Help!
Meimei
- Meiyu!
Meimei, throw the pepper in his face
Help!
Stay right there!
You attacked me instead, Meimei
Sorry
Are you OK?
How can she be OK?
Look at her face
Did you get molested?
Yes or no?
He... he said he was a policeman
I was to remove my clothes
Did you really do that?
I unzipped my dress by a bit
Then it suddenly dawned on me that...
he was a fake policeman
So I took your advice...
and threw this in his face
Sorry, sorry!
Never mind him
So he did not touch you at all?
No
But he took off with...
the money I'd got from singing
I had more than $100,
enough to buy you a handphone
You almost got molested
Why do you still care about the handphone?
How stupid can you get?
I told you not to be so trusting,
or go anywhere with a stranger
Don't believe anyone who calls himself a policeman
He showed me his pass
A pass can be a fake too
You're really stupid!
See that you don't get raped one day!
Guan Meiyu, stop scolding her
You keep calling her stupid. Isn't she safe and sound?
Call yourself her older sister
Stay right there
Stallone, give chase!
Hurry, go after him
Stallone, don't wait for me
After him!
Good job!
Stallone, you're the best
You...
You're in a big hurry, eh?
You look familiar. Have we met before?
I don't care who you are
Even if you were the US president, I'd still catch you!
Miss, we've reached Dakota Crescent
Mister, I want to go to Da Ge Da Wan
This is it
Singaporeans know it as Dakota Crescent
We don't call it Da Ge Da or something
Which block number?
Block...?
Hang on
But I only have Dakota Crescent
Then you're very near
You'll find it
Bye
The air in Singapore is so fresh
So this is a posh neighbourhood in Singapore
Get moving! You jerk
Over here!
Move it, scoundrel!
Teddy, good timing!
You should make me your idol
Idol? More like the guy who makes me puke
Come on
I helped you catch a pervert today
And I single-handedly...
No, with the help of a dog,
I caught this man who stole money and beat up an old lady
I'll hit the headlines today
Did he admit to it?
If guilty parties would admit to their crimes,
we wouldn't have need for a court of law
But he's fallen into my hands
There's no escape for him now
Don't just stand there
Give the TV station a call
Or I won't make it for the 6.30pm and 10pm news bulletins
Move it
Granny Cardboard!
Open the door, Granny Cardboard
Granny Cardboard
I don't have $8000
Ou Jinguang, are you playing games with me?
ls this the best you can give me?
I'm doing you a favour because...
you're Big Brother's buddy
So I regard you as my nephew too
I want us to make money together
But you're patronizing me. Nice one!
Uncle, I really don't have $8000
So how much do you have?
$5000
No way! You're a grown-up
But all you have is $5000?
I only get $50 a month from my dad
What age are we living in?
Are you in the coolie era?
You only get $50 a month?
Never mind! You'll play a girl tomorrow
Why?
You should go become a maid
Even a maid is paid better!
No wonder Big Brother wants to help you
On his account, I'll take $5000 from you
Your ATM card
$2000
I can only give you $2000
I'm keeping the rest for my wedding
OK, $2000 it will be
Is the cosmos beads venture profitable?
I can vouch for it
If the venture loses money,
you'll get your $2000 back, OK?
What's the PIN?
Take it down
OK, tell me
1
1...1
I've got it written down
1...1
I said I got it. Stop going on and on
There are six 1s
111111?
Some PIN that is
Excuse me, sir
I'm new to this country
I'm here to look for my friend
He told he lived near Dakota Crescent
But he didn't give me his exact address
His name is Chen Bangqing
Mister, do you know him?
No
I don't know him
When he was paying for his chicken rice,
his dollar notes were rolled up and tied with a rubber band
It looked just like the stack you had
Granny Cardboard
It's obvious that he'd taken your money
Why are you still covering it up for him?
Did he threaten you?
Or are you afraid he'll take revenge on you?
You're so noisy!
Do you have too much time on your hands?
I didn't get beaten up or robbed
I do not know this man
Are you sure, Granny Cardboard?
We saw him along the corridor before
He left in a haste
He was in such a big hurry
He acted like a thief
He also caused the injury on your forehead
Why won't you admit it?
Is something stopping you?
Nothing at all!
Be gone! Don't be busybodies
Granny Cardboard, why are you so stubborn?
I almost died running after him
We've got the man now
Don't be stubborn. Let's go
What is it now?
Nothing
I just want you to know that I recognize you
I grew up watching your shows
That Lin Bei...
Why did you hit me?
No coarse language from you
I wasn't being crude
Someone's-in-a-big-hurry looks familiar
ls his name Lin Bei?
No, his name isn't Lin Bei
There is a Bei in his name
Is it Zhang Bei?
Lin Bei? Nan Bei?
Correct? - It's Luo Bei
Yes! He is Luo Bei
You know him too?
I watched his Tau Pok Street,
Stepping Forth
He used to be so handsome!
Yes, he used to be very handsome
But he is downtrodden now
He'd even steal and beat people up
He's not acted for a long time
How did he become so downtrodden?
That's no surprise
To quote my uncle,
life has its ups and downs,
much like the stock market
What comes around goes around
The rich can become poor
The poor can become rich, too
Even a TV star who used to "hail the shots"....
is reduced to a petty robber
Hang on!
What does "hail the shots" mean?
Teddy, I can't believe this
Are you really an undergrad?
What's more, you're a law student
You don't even know "hail the shots"?
You are an imbecile
It should be "calling the shots"
Zi char?
Teddy, just be honest about it
Do you have a crush on me? You want to buy me a zi char meal?
Enough of your nonsense
Why did Granny Cardboard...
claim she didn't know Luo Bei?
Can you take her word for it?
For a while, I thought you were stupid
Speak for yourself
It was so obvious that...
Granny Cardboard couldn't tell us more
Come on!
You really believe that the man is her son...
or maybe her grandson?
Yes
That's such a clichéd plot
See that you don't get pelted with rotten eggs
You bum around all day long
You should be pelted with rotten eggs!
This is impossible
If Dakota holds a popularity poll,
I, Big Brother, will garner the highest number of votes
Big Brother indeed!
Take this from me! - Look at you
You look murderous
What are you doing?
I need you...
Teddy, don't do this to me
I'm not used to this from you
Women should show some restraint
I won't be able to resist it
Get real
I need your CV!
What is CV?
You don't know what a CV is? Résumé
Let's go - Where are you taking me?
Just move it - Wait!
Yes?
I need to break wind
Get on with it
You've been warned. I had stink beans yesterday
My fart will stink bad
Hold your breath
Or you'll pass out from the stink
Hurry! I'm breaking wind now
You never studied hard at school
Even your tricks are so low
What an ignoramus
You're the most vicious woman alive
Mister, I'm buying these
Thanks
Mister, you didn't take my money
Mister, is there hot water?
I'd like to have the noodles now
Hello
Bring me the thermos flask
Are you serious?
You're disrupting my sleep
It's late in the day
Why are you still in bed?
I can sleep all I want. Why should you care?
Just buy hot water at the coffee shop
Crazy fella
Ajussi, what's up?
Hello
Youme
From now on, I'm going to call you Youme
Youme...
You and me, and you will never forget me
Dear
Here's another crazy fella. There's no "you and me" or "dear"
Stop giving me names or I'll sue you
It's destiny at work
I've had our fortunes told
And the conclusion is?
We were enemies in our past lives
So we have to be man and wife in this lifetime
Since you owed me a debt in our past lives,
I shall finish you off in this lifetime
The fortune teller is so spot on
I'm your slave in this lifetime
I'm at your disposal
You've got to believe it
It's Sunday today. Beautiful Sunday
Why stay at home?
What makes you think I'm at home?
We have telepathy, Youme
Let me buy you a meal
OK! But I want lobster
Can you afford it?
We'll have more than just lobster
We'll have raw oysters, sashimi,
and Wagyu beef
We'll top it off with a premium red wine
I'm sure you'll love it
OK! If I don't enjoy the meal,
you'll be sorry
If you don't enjoy the meal, I'll cut it up
OK
We'll talk when we meet, Youme. Bye!
I'll cut you up if it doesn't work out
No hot water?
How am I going to eat this?
I'll refund you
Buy the noodles at the convenience store
Is there one nearby?
There is one at Old Airport Road
Sorry. I've just arrived in Singapore
I'm not familiar with the place
Walk straight ahead
Cross the road
Walk through the HDB estate
Turn right
Cross the road
It's right beside the pasar (market)
What is pasar?
Pasar is...
Mister!
Mister
He walked off just like that
What if someone steals from his shop?
No wonder they say Singapore is very safe
Every person is law-abiding
So it's all true
Someone like her actually hit the big time
What a joke
She even uses Ou Xuan as her stage name
Can't she be Ou Xuan?
Of course not! I'm Ou Jinxuan
The TV station has an Ou Jinxian
Exactly! Copycat!
You're weird
Do you know that Dad's been hospitalized?
Yes
Are you going to visit him?
If you are,
I'll give you his ward number
He's just getting his haemorrhoids removed
So are you going to visit him?
I don't want to. You'll represent us
Here's the hot water
Thanks, mister
Help!
Help me, Grandma! Help... - What happened?
What's going on?
Get rid of Teddy for me
Granny Swordswoman, I need his papers
He's going to write a CV and apply for jobs
Grandma, don't listen to her
She's jealous of my good life here
Come, let's throw her out
OK, you asked me to
Grandma, you're supposed to help me
Why are you grabbing me?
Do as Weixiong tells you to
Prepare the CV as told
If you don't stop your nonsense,
I'll show you lots of love
She's a demon
Give me your certs and testimonials
I don't have any testimonial
Don't tell me you didn't get a single testimonial...
upon leaving school and the army?
No, I didn't
I find it odd, too
I was the best student in school,
and the best recruit in the army
But I didn't get any testimonial
Was it best or bad?
Best, of course!
Quit fooling around
No testimonials? Give me your certs, then
None
Just look for them
Easy. I'll start looking
Where are they?
I've found the snake
It scared the living daylights out of you
You're still as terrified. Hopeless!
I hate you...
Stop hitting me... Found it
Here it is!
C, D, D, C?
Such lousy grades
Forget it
No one cares about PSLE grades
Give me your secondary school cert
Secondary school cert?
I don't have it
Are you giving it to me?
I don't have it
Granny...
OK...
You women are a bother!
This is not it either
You!
Found it
Is this the one?
Show your cert some respect
My uncle did this
He got jealous of my good grades
Good grades?
You do think highly of yourself
You made it to JC...
through the skin of your teeth...
with my help
Teddy
Think before you speak!
I was going to say it was a ﬂuke for you
I spotted all the right exam questions
Just look at you, hooligan
I insist on saying it
If Granny Swordswoman...
had not asked me, a 12-year-old,
to tutor you, a 16-year-old,
You'd...
You're shooting from the hip again!
Granny Swordswoman! - What is it?
Weixiong, is he being difficult?
Is that a chopper I see?
I'll co-operate with her
I was going to ask her to stay for dinner
I was about to ask her that
Weixiong, do stay for dinner
I'm cutting up the pork ribs to make a soup
My grandson, be a dear
Yes, yes
Thanks, Granny Swordswoman
A-levels
I don't have it
No?
I'll look for it
My grades were so poor
I'd used the cert to...
wrap chicken bones
Why keep it to embarrass myself?
Even so,
it's proof that you sat for the A-levels exams
So what? Graduates are a dime a dozen now
Who cares about A-levels grades now?
Watch out as you rummage through the drawers
You may find things not meant for your eyes
Big deal
You also have what she has
But while hers are roti tissue,
yours are like the roti prata
Roti prata?
Pervert!
My nose has gone flat
Pay for my nose job!
I don't have your A-levels cert
I'll make do with your secondary school cert
Subtitles: A Han Mediacorp TV